presents...

Parakeet Training Record

Train your parakeet the scientific way!

In the 60's, science had an answer for everything, and vinyl did much more than just supply you with the latest pop tunes. For a mere 98 cents, this 45rpm disc from Hartz Mountain claimed to be able to teach your parakeet to talk using a "scientific new method". The idea, it would seem, was to place your bird near the record player while a "carefully trained voice" recited over and over again a series of banal phrases. "Hello, baby", says the voice. "Hello, baby".

Whether this worked or not is anyone's guess (put me down for No), but judging from the wear on this particular disc, it would appear that somebody gave it a shot. It's actually hard to imagine how much easier using this record might have been compared to the "old fashioned" method it replaced. Considering that each side of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to generate any appreciable amount of listening time. Weigh that against the disadvantage to having your parakeet learn only those phrases carefully selected by the Hartz Mountain engineers, and -- wait, I keep forgetting. This was the 60's, and these are consumers we're talking about.

It's too bad that the parakeet training concept seems to have been a passing phenomenon. With today's multi-gigabyte MP3 players able to hold hours of sound, it might actually have a chance. Hello, baaaaaby...

Parakeet Training Record
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Songs:

Introduction/Hello, Baby! (Real Audio) Teaching your parakeet to talk is fun! But the old method took too much time!
Good Morning (Real Audio) Good morning. Wanna eat? Good morning. Wanna eat!
Real Parakeet (Real Audio) If you ask me, the "real parakeet" sounds suspiciously like the announcer holding a handkerchief over his mouth.



Your Comments:

Your Bird says:
Polly wants you to turn off this fucking record!!! (10-15-2001)

Ron Burns says:
Well then "your name", could I interest you in a pair of your mother's panties 1/2 off, but slightly soiled? Yes? Alright it's a sale! Ignorant punk! (09-24-2001)

Your Name (Email Address) says:
Nobody would want to buy this shit, you fucking poncey git. (09-21-2001)

Ron Burns (rjburns@spectranet.ca) says:
I have this album. I am willing to sell to best offerer. I have just about all the albums listed on this site. My contact information is included. It's the way I do business: Ron Burns 550 CHILDS DR MILTON,ONTARIO,CANADA L9T 3P3 1-(905)-876-3245 (08-06-2001)

Sammy Reed says:
I found a ripoff of this record at a flea market. It's called "Training Your Parrakeet to Talk", with parakeet misspelled. This record comes complete with the infamous "Little Peter Parker", who has this uncanny ability to spill out information just like that. ("My name is Peter. My home is 1302 Asbury Oak.") Just like the parakeet in the record presented here, I wonder why Peter keeps coughing into a megaphone. The woman on my record doesn't sound as cute as the gal on this one, though. (07-16-2001)

Eric (tveye70@aol.com) says:
I've found tons of crap like this at the record store I work at...all horribly scratched 45s with probably the same mentally retarded woman repeating "HELLO" ad nauseam. (07-01-2001)

The Lone Beatnik (cujoe76@yahoo.com) says:
lol, the woman in the introduction sounds like a mentally retarded child (nothing's funny about mental retarded people, unless they keep saying "Hell-lo bay-be". The Real parakeet sounds like it has throat cancer.. kind of like the godfather. I told the world that cigarette-smoking birds were a disgrace to the world! Oh, and to the guy who wrote the bit in the introduction ("Considering that each side
of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet
owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to
generate any appreciable amount of listening time."), record players in the 60s had a feature: there was this black arm that would be used in stacking records and whatnot. If the arm was left up and out (not down and in), the side of the desired record would be played repeatedly, more than likely the way this record was used. I would love to have this record for fun! (06-14-2001)

poodluver says:
I really do remember my parents playing this record for our parakeet! "hello baby, want a kiss? stands out in my mind. Hello to Yusef Islam. Loved you back then as Cat ! Appreciate where you're at now. Always positive. (08-07-2000)

RyanReynolds (RyanReynolds@home.com) says:
At my website http://www.budgieresearch.homestead.com you can get a budgie training cd of a real talking budgie with 60 of budgie words and phrases. There are also some audio files of this incredible budgie who demonstrates signs of communication and understanding. Check it out, its a fun site too. (07-08-2000)

Tom K (expwys@expresswaysonline.com) says:
Well, we had it in the 60s ... and yes, it DID NOT WORK. But we used to play it over and over and over just for fun. It's still a standing joke at family gatherings ... thanks for bringing it back to life again. (05-10-2000)

Sammy Reed says:
The first 2 clips sound like they'd make great "sample material" for hip-hop artists. (05-08-2000)

Elmos Woods says:
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Gotta match? (04-17-2000)

Majed Ihsan (Majec1213) says:
tHIS RECORD DID NOT TEACH MY PARAKEETS ANYTHING IT DROVE ME COMPLETELY CRAZY. ITS SO CRAPPY I BROKE IT.IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS (04-01-2000)

Angie (angieb-n-nc@webtv.net) says:
Does anyone know if the male or the female parakeet is easier to train?? Please help!!! (02-11-2000)

Sharon (shabridge@aol.com) says:
This is an odd question, but I'm trying to find a film from the 50's/60's in which the entire cast of characters is played by trained parakeets. There was a hero, heroine,... even little birds dressed up like firemen. Any ideas? (BTW, my parents used to have the parakeet training 45 "Canaries are cute, but they can't talk") (01-29-2000)

bob harry (jonnyboy@hotmail.com) says:
birds are gay (12-29-1999)

ginny (vmotley@email.com) says:
I don't have realplayer so i can't try it is there another way to teach him to talk? (12-22-1999)

Seymore Butts says:
Hiya fellas!!! I just boght 4 parakeets and I would like to know how to take care of them if anyone knows anything post it up (12-17-1999)

kitt says:
It's NOT a hoax as a child I had many parakeets & also had a record that supposed to teach them to talk. But I can't recall the name of the record but it was made in the late 50's early 60's when it came out. Oh course this record had nothing to do with the recording "The Biggest Parakeets In Town" singer ??? in the later years. (09-25-1999)

funkfool says:
And now folk's- I'd like to do my latest number one smash hit..."Polly wanna cracker" thankyouverymuch (09-11-1999)






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