presents...

Parakeet Training Record

Train your parakeet the scientific way!

In the 60's, science had an answer for everything, and vinyl did much more than just supply you with the latest pop tunes. For a mere 98 cents, this 45rpm disc from Hartz Mountain claimed to be able to teach your parakeet to talk using a "scientific new method". The idea, it would seem, was to place your bird near the record player while a "carefully trained voice" recited over and over again a series of banal phrases. "Hello, baby", says the voice. "Hello, baby".

Whether this worked or not is anyone's guess (put me down for No), but judging from the wear on this particular disc, it would appear that somebody gave it a shot. It's actually hard to imagine how much easier using this record might have been compared to the "old fashioned" method it replaced. Considering that each side of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to generate any appreciable amount of listening time. Weigh that against the disadvantage to having your parakeet learn only those phrases carefully selected by the Hartz Mountain engineers, and -- wait, I keep forgetting. This was the 60's, and these are consumers we're talking about.

It's too bad that the parakeet training concept seems to have been a passing phenomenon. With today's multi-gigabyte MP3 players able to hold hours of sound, it might actually have a chance. Hello, baaaaaby...

Parakeet Training Record
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Introduction/Hello, Baby! (Real Audio) Teaching your parakeet to talk is fun! But the old method took too much time!
Good Morning (Real Audio) Good morning. Wanna eat? Good morning. Wanna eat!
Real Parakeet (Real Audio) If you ask me, the "real parakeet" sounds suspiciously like the announcer holding a handkerchief over his mouth.



Your Comments:

Ashley Tini (Ashliens23) says:
I tryied it It worked great my bird was the smartest bird I ever knew!! :' (11-12-1998)

King Of Ktel says:
This is the kind of record to use on crappy neighbors when you are going out for the weekend.... play it loud (you're lame and your proud!) and put your stereo on auto repeat so it plays over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... on second thought.. do this with a cheapy junk store record player the day you move out.. you're not gonna want to show your face in that neighborhood again.. (10-03-1998)

CJB (CJB001@hotmail.com) says:
Funny thing is, I used to have this 45, but have no idea where it went. Thanks for the reminder. (09-27-1998)

John Book (ycaa10a@prodigy.com) says:
I once played this song on my radio show last year@ as my "Thrift Store Pick Of The Week". I had this record for years@ and it was just hilarious. What makes things worse is that the "bird" at the end sounds nothing like a bird. Oh yeah@ I have two web sites:`P` `a href="http://pages.prodigy.com/WA/methtical/uniqueason.html"`U-WU Home Page`/a` and my `a href="http://pages.prodigy.com/methtical/uetas20.htm"`HAWAIIAN VACATION JOURNAL`/a`. (08-22-1998)

Jimmy says:
Can you whistle? Can you speak? then SCREW THAT! Do it yourself! How would you feel if your parents threw you in a crib and made you listen to a tape. They tought you to speak themselves. (certain exceptions apply!) (07-30-1998)

Peter Kesselman (pkay@smartlink.net) says:
I actually had this record! You should play the part that says "Hello baby, want a kiss". I guess the record taught me, not the bird! (05-19-1998)

Julie (dehaan@interaccess.com) says:
I never played your record for my parakeet, and it has never said a word. That record really worked! (05-07-1998)

Mr. Busta Fly says:
This album drove my cat "nazi" nuts! It drove him to suicide. He couldn't take it anymore. So on a peaceful, bright, spring day, he found solice under the wheels of a greyhound bus traveling southbound on I-90 at 75 mph. Can Polly say, "Road Pizza?" (04-22-1998)

DA (kissmyhairybutt@hotmail.com) says:
That whole "good morning, good morning, good morning" screwed me up so bad, I killed my parakeet! oh yeah, http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Boardwalk/6228 (04-19-1998)

Isaac Hanson (plutohunter@hotmail.com) says:
They did one of them tests on me where they'd put two brands of coffee in front of me, and I'm supposed to pick the best one, but instead they replaced it with my record and this one! I honestly couldn't tell the difference! (04-19-1998)

Bob says:
Yes...........It's a hoax! Don't buy it! The man is just robbing you! Flee from here, and don't let your parakeet near! Oh yea try my web site http://www.worldaccessnet.com/~lisman/ (04-10-1998)

Bob (cire_2784@yahoo.com) says:
Uhhhhh.........Hoax? (04-10-1998)

Bob (cire_2784@yahoo.com) says:
Ahhhhh.........Hoax? (04-10-1998)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
Yes, it is me again. I finally got out of my week long daze and know I remember where I heard this album. I think it was featured on American Bandstand. As I remembered it was voted at the album with the best beat and one can dance to it. As I recall, I think it beat out Jimmy Hendrix's "Purple Haze" Personally, I prefer hitting myself in the head with a pitchfork. Please excuse me, my asylum awaits for me. (03-22-1998)

Sir Droopy Drawers says:
Speaking of birds. Why is the dark meat cheaper than the white meat at KFC? I would love to meet the person who came up with this brillant idea? Please excuse me, my asylum awaits for me. (03-18-1998)

bjork says:
All I know I learned from parakeet training records (01-27-1998)

Ewan (snuffan@yahoo.com) says:
My parakeet died. That was 10 years ago and had nothing to do with the record - but it would have been cool if it had. (01-09-1998)

James Slate (Jayslate@aol.com) says:
My parakeet like to listed to bird sounds so if you have and parakeet sounds please e-mail them to me thankyou (01-04-1998)

bluey says:
i am not even about to order this album, sounds like a hoax to me (01-04-1998)

Greggy (dfikino@wwa.com) says:
I ordered this album, and when I got it, my parakeet listened to it. I'm not quite sure what he got out of it or didn't, but he rubs up and down against his food dish now. I think he's been getting off. If anyone else has had this problem, please EMail me. Please. (12-25-1997)






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