presents...

Parakeet Training Record

Train your parakeet the scientific way!

In the 60's, science had an answer for everything, and vinyl did much more than just supply you with the latest pop tunes. For a mere 98 cents, this 45rpm disc from Hartz Mountain claimed to be able to teach your parakeet to talk using a "scientific new method". The idea, it would seem, was to place your bird near the record player while a "carefully trained voice" recited over and over again a series of banal phrases. "Hello, baby", says the voice. "Hello, baby".

Whether this worked or not is anyone's guess (put me down for No), but judging from the wear on this particular disc, it would appear that somebody gave it a shot. It's actually hard to imagine how much easier using this record might have been compared to the "old fashioned" method it replaced. Considering that each side of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to generate any appreciable amount of listening time. Weigh that against the disadvantage to having your parakeet learn only those phrases carefully selected by the Hartz Mountain engineers, and -- wait, I keep forgetting. This was the 60's, and these are consumers we're talking about.

It's too bad that the parakeet training concept seems to have been a passing phenomenon. With today's multi-gigabyte MP3 players able to hold hours of sound, it might actually have a chance. Hello, baaaaaby...

Parakeet Training Record
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Introduction/Hello, Baby! (Real Audio) Teaching your parakeet to talk is fun! But the old method took too much time!
Good Morning (Real Audio) Good morning. Wanna eat? Good morning. Wanna eat!
Real Parakeet (Real Audio) If you ask me, the "real parakeet" sounds suspiciously like the announcer holding a handkerchief over his mouth.



Your Comments:

Ron Tripsitter says:
I remember a time (well, in my country, anyway) when a "faggot" was a kind of meatball made with liver, and a "pussy" was just another word for a cat. How times change.... (12-07-2004)

adnan gashi (adnan_gashi_01@hotmail.com) says:
give sam photos training parakeet (12-01-2004)

Slavey says:
HI GT, I MEAN LENNY? BATTLE OF WITS EH? ALL JOKES ASIDE, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE SO SMART? BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT. HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU GT, ER, SQUIGGY. THIS IS NOT A BATTLE OF ANYTHING. WHY ARE YOU KEEPING SCORE? I AM SIMPLY TELLING YOU THAT YOU USE A MAN'S NAME BUT ACT LIKE A BITCH. YOU POST LIKE A BITCH. AND THINGS THAT ONLY WOMEN OR GAY MEN NOTICE LIKE ALL CAPS, YOU ARE OBSSESSED WITH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU KNOW? YOUR FATHER DIDN'T WANT YOU? YOUR MOTHER WANTED A DAUGHTER? YOU HAVE PROBLEMS. AND IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR HOME ADDRESS, I PROMISE THAT I CAN HELP YOU. (11-28-2004)

Lenny (easytogetslaveysgoat@doofus) says:
So predictable, Slavey.

Battle of Wits: Lenny 4 Slavey Doofus 0.

*Yawn*...

DOO FUSS (thought you'd be impressed with the CAPS.

Lenny (11-28-2004)

HODGIE says:
HAY THAR FELLARS. NAW YALL STOP LOKIN AT MAH OL MOMAS PUSSY. SHES GOT DA CLAP! (11-26-2004)

Kerry Rules says:
Bush is a bum bush is gay kerry all the way (11-26-2004)

cedric says:
Has anyone seen Hodgie lately? (11-15-2004)

Suki says:
You train a parakeet by softly talking to it sweet and peaceful tone, never get mad at your parakeet and hit it and its cage or talk to it in a cruel tone. Move your hand into the cage slowly everyday to change its food and water, and leave your hand in there for a bit until it calms down. Within a couple days, with the right loving manner, it will grow acustomed to your hand and then you can steadily put your finger infront of the bird like a perch. It will be shy, but eventually it will hop onto your finger. Award it with compliments in a loving tone, and evn give it some millet treats. (11-14-2004)

Mad Dr. Matt (magob@aol.com) says:
My friend Pat had a Green Amazon that was about 75 years old. It could do "ladies playing bridge" right down to the ice tinking in the glass, the cards shuffling and chit-chat. Amazing! Parakeets on the other hand were only good for loud annoying chirps and pooping up the bottom of their cages.

And what more annoying than a parakeet? Why a record to teach them to say "Hello, Baby" of course. Niiiice! (11-11-2004)

roger says:
go for the mixed spit. I recomend slow smokeing them over a fruit wood,or perhaps a nut.(cherry for example, or hazelnut is nice. The wine should be fruity yet smokey. A beer should be a hearty belgium ale such as Corsondonk or Affligem dubbel as the birds are somewhat gamey (11-03-2004)

Lenny says:
Hey Rog....

What tastes better on the open spit....parakeets or cockateils?

The merdot is on ice....... (11-01-2004)

roger says:
this is my first visit to this site.definitly dig it. oh,and parakeets are ill tempered, un trainable little buggers. you're much better off with cockatiels. (11-01-2004)

KERRY & EDWARDS IN '04! says:
VOTE KERRY/EDWARDS! (10-27-2004)

MEEEEE says:
my bird's scared of me as well..i dont know what to do with it..i cant even look at it or it'll open its beak and peck at me..althught when i put my hand in it's cage it just fluffs about running aaway from me. i'm really annoyed with it now! (10-25-2004)

Lenny says:
Two parakeets: blue and green.

Blue with the merdot?
Green with the chablis?

Or just say fuk it and serve beer?

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (10-19-2004)

Sandra says:
Trés Cool! I love this album cover. And the tracks thereon contain such useful and interesting information. Educational! I am inspired. (The budgies are on my desktop now, chirping away.) (10-19-2004)

Spike says:
I have 2 parakeets, 1 is scared of me and the other isn't. How do I give them bathes, and train them? Hurry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(10-13-2004)

Spike says:
How do I train a bird that is scared of my hand? (10-13-2004)

Joli (purplevioletsquishies@comcast.net) says:
Ooops... don't ask me why I put apostrophes in birdbrains. I guess I was hoping for some kind of symbiotic relationship between the two. (10-13-2004)

Joli (purplevioletsquishies@comcast.net) says:
Now this record would even be insulting to a parakeet's intelligence. There are birdbrain's & then there are birdbrain's. (10-13-2004)






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