presents...

Parakeet Training Record

Train your parakeet the scientific way!

In the 60's, science had an answer for everything, and vinyl did much more than just supply you with the latest pop tunes. For a mere 98 cents, this 45rpm disc from Hartz Mountain claimed to be able to teach your parakeet to talk using a "scientific new method". The idea, it would seem, was to place your bird near the record player while a "carefully trained voice" recited over and over again a series of banal phrases. "Hello, baby", says the voice. "Hello, baby".

Whether this worked or not is anyone's guess (put me down for No), but judging from the wear on this particular disc, it would appear that somebody gave it a shot. It's actually hard to imagine how much easier using this record might have been compared to the "old fashioned" method it replaced. Considering that each side of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to generate any appreciable amount of listening time. Weigh that against the disadvantage to having your parakeet learn only those phrases carefully selected by the Hartz Mountain engineers, and -- wait, I keep forgetting. This was the 60's, and these are consumers we're talking about.

It's too bad that the parakeet training concept seems to have been a passing phenomenon. With today's multi-gigabyte MP3 players able to hold hours of sound, it might actually have a chance. Hello, baaaaaby...

Parakeet Training Record
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Introduction/Hello, Baby! (Real Audio) Teaching your parakeet to talk is fun! But the old method took too much time!
Good Morning (Real Audio) Good morning. Wanna eat? Good morning. Wanna eat!
Real Parakeet (Real Audio) If you ask me, the "real parakeet" sounds suspiciously like the announcer holding a handkerchief over his mouth.



Your Comments:

Gus (gus8998@satx.rr.com) says:
Um... I just got a parakeet and was wondering if there are different species or something? Like the 1s yall talk about that talk? Lemme Know Thanks! (08-05-2004)

Richard Cranium says:
I have a small problem. My parakeet, Sheila, refuses to fellate me anymore!

I've given this damn bird the best 3 years of my life, and all I expect is a little blowjob now and then.

I even scrub the smegma off my penis and scrotal sac, but the damn bird refuses to go down on me.

do you think this record will help??? (08-04-2004)

jonathan (jman02052003@yahoo.com) says:
peanuthead is dumber than a rock (07-29-2004)

jonathan says:
this site sucks my bird is still very dumb
peanut head is also like this sight. It's dumb as a rock (07-29-2004)

jonathan says:
this site sucks my bird is still very dumb
peanut head is also like this sight. It's dumb as a rock (07-29-2004)

ogg (ogre123@yahoo.com) says:
this method doesn't work but it kept my parakeet still for 10 seconds at least beating its previos record by 5 seconds!!!!!!thx dudes!!!!!!! (07-27-2004)

manthismethodsucks (howler@kazaa.com) says:
yeah that peanut head can sure stir up trouble, geez he's mean to every1 for absoulutely no reason at all!!!!! (07-27-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
thx web admininstrator, now we'll stop arguing and peanut head will stop blabbing his head off (07-27-2004)

Website Administrator says:
Your attention please.

The following users are being monitored for possible breach of section 4, sub-section 2 of the Internet Accordance Policy. Any futher violation of this, or other sections of this policy, will be dealt with accordingly:

Peanut Head

Alex

Cindy

zzzlop

Thank you. (07-26-2004)

zzzlop (zzzlop1@aol.com) says:
yeah lol take him down!!!!!!!!!! (07-26-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
yeah peanut head must have like 100 enemies (07-26-2004)

manthismethodsucks (howler@kazaa.com) says:
take down and destroy peqanuts for brains!!!!!!!!!!! (07-26-2004)

CINDY (cindy@yahoo.com) says:
i agree (07-26-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
YEaH!!!!!!!!!!!! (07-26-2004)

tad (nobodyqwe@yahoo.com) says:
stfu peanut head.leave every1 alone.unless you want the whole world to hate u.get a life every1 lol at peanuts for brains!!!!!!!!!!! (07-26-2004)

bob (bobby1231@yahoo.com) says:
dude peanut head are you a prog or 3 years old or what. this is a warning so stop insulting everyone and let this site run in peace TY (07-26-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
dude peanut head shut up and let other ppl post their comments in peace. geez give em a break and don't yell at me 2. i definetly don't wanna argue like some low life from the 1950's or something. (07-26-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
dude peanut head shut up and let other ppl post their comments in peace. geez give em a break and don't yell at me 2. i definetly don't wanna argue like some low life from the 1950's or something. (07-26-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
dude peanut head shut up and let other ppl post their comments in peace. geez give em a break and don't yell at me 2. i definetly don't wanna argue like some low life from the 1950's or something. (07-26-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
dude peanut head shut up and let other ppl post their comments in peace. geez give em a break and don't yell at me 2. i definetly don't wanna argue like some low life from the 1950's or something. (07-26-2004)






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