presents...

Parakeet Training Record

Train your parakeet the scientific way!

In the 60's, science had an answer for everything, and vinyl did much more than just supply you with the latest pop tunes. For a mere 98 cents, this 45rpm disc from Hartz Mountain claimed to be able to teach your parakeet to talk using a "scientific new method". The idea, it would seem, was to place your bird near the record player while a "carefully trained voice" recited over and over again a series of banal phrases. "Hello, baby", says the voice. "Hello, baby".

Whether this worked or not is anyone's guess (put me down for No), but judging from the wear on this particular disc, it would appear that somebody gave it a shot. It's actually hard to imagine how much easier using this record might have been compared to the "old fashioned" method it replaced. Considering that each side of the thing is only about 3 minutes long, a dedicated parakeet owner would have had to do an awful lot of record-flipping to generate any appreciable amount of listening time. Weigh that against the disadvantage to having your parakeet learn only those phrases carefully selected by the Hartz Mountain engineers, and -- wait, I keep forgetting. This was the 60's, and these are consumers we're talking about.

It's too bad that the parakeet training concept seems to have been a passing phenomenon. With today's multi-gigabyte MP3 players able to hold hours of sound, it might actually have a chance. Hello, baaaaaby...

Parakeet Training Record
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Introduction/Hello, Baby! (Real Audio) Teaching your parakeet to talk is fun! But the old method took too much time!
Good Morning (Real Audio) Good morning. Wanna eat? Good morning. Wanna eat!
Real Parakeet (Real Audio) If you ask me, the "real parakeet" sounds suspiciously like the announcer holding a handkerchief over his mouth.



Your Comments:

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
dude peanut head shut up and let other ppl post their comments in peace. geez give em a break and don't yell at me 2. i definetly don't wanna argue like some low life from the 1950's or something. (07-26-2004)

zzzlop (zzzlop1@aol.com) says:
yo peanut head alex is right. (and so is the whole world.so shut the heck up! (07-26-2004)

Cindy (cindy@yahoo.com) says:
i seriously don't know this alex but he's right. peanut head is just some smart aleck who isn't smart but dum (07-26-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
the other ppl are cindy ,eon, and imlaughin with manthis methodsucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (07-26-2004)

Peanut Head says:
Big deal bout yer birds dere Taylor.....dem colours?...dats da colour of dere TURDS Taylor.

DIS iss fer records, NOT dumb pairofkeets, kay Taylor?.....dis iss where ya cum da talk bout JAMMY OSMINDCT CDs an smokes, liqour an nekkid parties...NOT fer rotisserie birds, kay Taylor?

Dat bird will taste gud on yer bbq Taylor...try it nekkid, den ya can...oops...yes Mommy?...(I haveta go...bye) (07-26-2004)

Taylor (taylor@taylorsrosegarden.com) says:
This I haven't tryed but my Parakeet I just got less than 48 hours ago and he is talking,letting me pet him, and letting me hold him...he has NOT bit me yet.He is also a rare Parakeet he is Agua, Sky Blue, White, Black, Gray, Yellow, and a Dark Sky Blue! (07-26-2004)

Peanut Head says:
What other ppl, Alex?....lemme see....Alex......Alex.....Alex...

Must be lotsa mofos wid either da same name, or it iss still da same dipshit named ALEX...

Fact is, ALEX..dis is a vinyl moozeum NOT DA PLACE FER DA FUKKIN' Birds, ALEX.....PUT DA birds onna rotisserie fer supper an PUT SOME JAMMY OSMNIDNT onna CD dere...

No use ya callin' me names dere, ALEX....tol ya da get laid mebbe den ya not such a grouchy bastard dere, ALEX....

Get sum smokes, liqour an JAMMY onna Boombox an STOP PULLIN YER DIK, ALEX....kay Alex??

CUz ya prolly nice guy but too much play wid yer dik Alex....too close to da lava lamp...oops...yes Mommy??...gotta go now...bye... (07-25-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
listen to the other ppl dude they hate u (07-25-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
are u a prog pissy head or whatever your name is? (07-25-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
not like u run the place (07-25-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
peanut head is dum (07-25-2004)

Peanut Head says:
Alex, ya hasta learn how ta type....I'm tinkin' right now dat yer head is full a shit....

But dat's OK...yoo prolly got only one testmicle so I will nice to ya...

Alex, ya need ta buy sum JAMMY OSMNINDT CDs an CHILL!!!....oh, an mebbe git a broad cuz ya sound like you keep pullin' yer peepee while ya type cuz I tink yoo are kinda dumb, Alex.

So: JAMMY onna boombox, liqour, smokes an nekkid party...oh yeah PUT A PAIROKEETH onna rotisserie fer supper...EAT DEM BIRDS, never mind makin' dem talk...YOO try talkin' (an typin') FIRST, ALex.....oops...yes Mommy?...(I haveta go....bye).... (07-24-2004)

frank (FrAnK123@aol.com) says:
you shouldn't make fun of the ppl who are right. sure they're a bit harsh on you ppl but they are right. this method doesn't work and you guyz should admit it.good luk creating a method that does work.( when will it be next year?) (07-23-2004)

im laughin (howler@kazaa.com) says:
you guys are patetic really lol. (07-23-2004)

eon (einstein@aol.com) says:
according to other reviews this idea doesn't nesserily work very well and I admit i agree. i have studied this method verrrrrrrry closely and it doesn't seem to help the parakeet at all.plz change this method soon a more reliable not to mention a method that works so ppl can trust you guys more. good luck!!! (07-23-2004)

CINDY (cindy@yahoo.com) says:
this record is a bit old and it kinda like... sucks.so i suggest you come up with a more modern one that works. thanx (07-23-2004)

manthismethodsucks (hi@yahoo.com) says:
i read the guinness book of world records for most pathetic web site and your #1!!!!!WOW good job!!!! (07-23-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
60's are boring lame dum retarded and not to mention stupid. LOL (07-23-2004)

alex (alex@cashette.com) says:
gues what peanut head??U SUCK!!!!!! (07-23-2004)

Peanut Head says:
Alex, put yer bird on da rotisserie...it will only speak if ya put da JAMMY OSMINCTN CD onna boom box.

Mebbe you should ask Pereza fer advice...he seem ta tink dat he smarter den parokeets...NOT YER AVERAGE BIRDBRAIN - Haw haw...

Yup, low fire onda spit an dem birds gonna taste real gud wid some liqour an....oops....yes, Mommy?...(I haveta go now....bye) (07-21-2004)






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