William Shatner: Captain of the Starship

By now everyone's heard about William Shatner's The Transformed Man -- that infamous 60's recording where he sings Mr. Tambourine Man and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds -- but check out this other Shatner LP, an ultra-rare two-record set recorded live in 1978. It's a recording of an appearance at some kind of a Star Trek convention just before the first Star Trek movie came out (probably the lowest point in Shatner's career). Half of it consists of Shatner answering questions from the audience (where was the bathroom on the Enterprise?) and recalling inane stories from his career. On the other half, he performs dramatic poetry interpretations, including "Earthbound", "The Flight of Man" and a reading from H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds".

On the artwork for Transformed Man, Shatner appeared as Captain Kirk, in his full starfleet uniform. Here, however, licensing restrictions prevented Imperial House records from using any actual Trek material. Notice how Shatner is the captain of the "Starship", not the "Enterprise", and how his shirt, while similar to the one he wore on TV, lacks the official Star Trek insignia. If you look closely you might also notice that the space rifle he's wielding is actually an upside-down camera tripod -- talk about your low-budget photo shoots!

Slashdot says:
Was here (12-31-2003)

goatgoatgoat (goat@goatse.cx) says:
G is to the oatse
C is to the shizzex

Fo' shizzel my nizzel...

http://goatse.cx (12-30-2003)

/. says:
/. was here
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=90987&cid=0&pid=0&startat=&threshold=1&mode=thread&commentsort=3&op=Change (12-30-2003)

Tamara (tamarapax@swift-mail.com) says:
Looks like "fun." (11-24-2003)

Shatner for prez says:
my view of "le shat" is unchanged in that i still believe he deserves everything he gets. He is captain kirk, an almost mythical figure and beacon of justice, coolness and legend. For this he is adored and thought of as even godlike. There is , of course a dark side. Stories of domineering behavour and ruthless"hogging" of the screen and perhaps some overweight pomposity(3rd season only). For this, he has suffered ridicule and scathing remarks. Unrivalled greatness and ridicule go hand in hand it's all part of being Bill Shatner! Both are precipitated and both are deserved. This record is one of the unintentional bloopers shatner has made and causes the said ridicule. When I listen to it I laugh at Shatner for the unintentional hilarity but at the same same time I know that this world would simply not be the same without him. (10-20-2003)

shatnerfan says:
'how to handle a woman' lyrics NOW! (10-01-2003)

trekamaniac says:
i second shatnerfan's request, it would be . . . .fun! (09-29-2003)

bs says:
khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (09-27-2003)

shatnerfan says:
could someody please, please put up the words to "how to handle a woman" for if i have the words i feel great and worthy shatner impression awaits. (09-27-2003)

khan says:
i wanted you to know first who it was who had beaten you!! (09-27-2003)

Troubled Tribble says:
'Transformed Man' is still the apogee of unintentionally hilarious crap. Who can forget Shatner working himself into a frenzy as he builds up to "I had TOUCHED... the FACE... OF GOD!", authentically believing this New Age wanking to be a work of deep spirituality and genuine genius. Only the anguished howl of "Mr Tambourine MAAAAAAAAN!" can compete, although on 'Spleen' I can't help but crack up whenever he groans about "wailing in despaaaaaaaaaaaair". This album looks like good value for fellow kitsch pilgrims though - tell me, does it have 'How To Handle A Woman' on it? (09-20-2003)

Canada is now Cantada says:
Only shit flows from a Cantaian's mouth. But they always think it's the brightest and funniest commentary since SCTV. Lucille, you are a pimple on a cunt. And smell twice as bad. Why don't you stick your head up your ass and see if you can spot your intellect? You won't find it there either. But you will find the source of the shit that you placed here. (09-10-2003)

Joe says:
Do any of you know What was the name of Willam Shatner's LP and what songs were on it?

If you know please tell me (08-11-2003)

WALT says:
BILL WAS TRULY AN EXPLORER. HE DID GO WHERE NO ONE HAD GONE BEFORE. HE`S A TRUE PIONEER. HE`LL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. HE TURNED A LOW BUDGET SHOW INTO A BILLION DOLLAR (ENTERPRISE). NO PUN INTENDED. (07-24-2003)

Lucille Aucielen Diamantez (UpShatsAmpleSphincter@once.com) says:
Hey .. is that a cashmere sweater? Shat (as in past-tense of Defecate) and Larry David deserve side-by-side burial plots, along the Central Park promenade where the peroxided prats stroll their obese co-neurotic chihuahuas; thus will they regularly be presented with fresh passing commentary from equal intellects, and be showered with solidarity for all their impish rebellious poser antics against twats seen to be up-leash.

Bill, such a potz; and Larry, a bigger yotz I have never seen.

Both these sphincter-boys should die, to sooner make room for the new legion of no-talents to fester our sclerae with newer versions of boils like what "Bill's stall" has done for oratory, and Larry's Lie-schtick has done for the public's perception of the people who people our Cathode Ray Tubes.

Feh.

If that is not a tripod, it does look like all of that 'bris'tling triplet of barrels have had their respective prepuce stolen, and likely before any were allowed to mature enough to recognise such theft as brutal, crude tribal disfigurement; an irreversible felony assault, and unilateral interdiction against my -er- one's God-given right to produce the not-so-rare, but indelible sebaceous cheese product, smegma.

WilShat's infamous, shameful, disgusting policing of his "lines" quota (contractual gagging of other ST co-stars' by script-lines counts) is like chopping off the skin around the tip of einer unvittink katzen's kleiner jammer:

Nimoy: My part for this episode made sense, and showed promise as engaging character development, possibly sufficient to overcome our accursed 1st season jinx .. when I first read it. But it has again been Scissored by forces unknown, down to a tattered shadow, and Bill seems to be mad at me. I feel like something has been taken from me, which was designed, ordained, intended .. indeed, Written By Those Who Art Uneven .. and I feel like it was taken from me before I had any choice in the matter.

Willie is not really from Canada. All of us Canadians know Him up here as an Alien, eh.

Failing all else, Beelee, get thee back to La Brea and rejoin the ooze, lest we spill the (censored) about the (censored) wifey's wee (censored) mishap with the (censored) .. okay? Old buddy .. Old pal ..

Were you more "ex...ple...tive", Shat-boy, you'd be as easily deleted.

Scum. (07-20-2003)

Lidja says:
Nice rug! (07-03-2003)

DJ Napp (El_Nappo@yahoo.com) says:
I have this album -- it's awesome. Almost 80 minutes of pure Shatner. It beautifully displays that "Me Generation"/"Jonathan Livingston Seagull" attitude of the 70's. Imagine a contemporary actor of comparable "stature" doing something like this -- no way! I almost have to wonder if the audience was merely humoring him for the first half of the "show", so that they could ask him Star Trek questions afterward. Mine has a different cover (Shatner standing at about a dozen microphones in a shiny black jacket), released on LEMLI Records (Lemli #0001) and "can only be purchased from Lemli.."(with a PO box). Most likely a vanity pressing for him to autograph at conventions. Oh, and the text on the back really rambles long and hard about how great he is. I'll post it when I get a chance. (06-24-2003)

Satanic Aimee says:
what a sad, sad man... (05-26-2003)

A Klingon says:
That's no photographers 'tool' it's a Klingon triple entry anal probe...Duh!... (05-20-2003)

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