presents...

Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits

Oh, the humanity!

I've spent a lot of time contemplating the mystery of Mrs. Elva Miller from Claremont, California. I have to conclude that her recording career is one of the cruelest practical jokes ever devised by the record industry.

For the most part, the flubs on Frank's Vinyl Museum are the result of serious artists and serious record producers badly missing the mark. Mrs. Miller's album is definitely over the top, but I get the very sinister feeling from the liner notes that while Miller herself may have been completely serious about what she was doing, whoever coaxed her to make this album was laughing on the inside, and probably egging her on to be even more extreme. The sarcasm is very subtle, just enough to give the wink to record collectors like us while keeping poor Mrs. Miller in the dark. References to her "impeccible diction" and "scintillating delivery" abound, as well as the accolade "one of the most interesting voices extant... one that brings to mind the tonal qualities of a Florence Foster Jenkins or a Mrs. B. J. Fangman". Jane Morgan's Fresh Flavor LP, featured elsewhere on this site, contains similar sentiments, but at least she can lay claim to some prior recording history.

I almost feel bad for exploiting Mrs. Miller this way, but once you listen to her songs, you'll know why her fans can't resist her. Enjoy!

Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Downtown (MP3) Brace yourself for the best rendition of 'Downtown' ever!
A Hard Day's Night (MP3) Beatle butchering at its very best.

See Also: Fresh Flavor

Your Comments:

Zaba says:
http://www.angelfire.com/ny/yorik/emcentral.html (08-26-2001)

Lucky (toymaker@usa.net) says:
Your Drunken Aunt Sings The Hot Hits of Today!

Seriously, though, anyone else notice around 1:40 in "Downtown", it sounds like she's stifling a laugh? Perhaps Our Mrs Miller wasn't entirely innocent either!

She reminds me of Leona Anderson, who performed a few songs for the old Ernie Kovacs show. She, apparantly, was aware of the camp quality of her music, and just didn't care (I highly recommen the Ernie Kovacs Record Colelction, btw, now on CD; it has a couple of her "classics" on it). (08-21-2001)

Chris (spjunkie@yahoo.com) says:
Whoever seriously bought this album has serious problems. Anyone have an idea why she deserves an album??? This is just too bizzarre. i can see why some albums are made, but this one? who would buy such an awful thing?? Who pay to record such and awful thing?? (08-08-2001)

Ron Burns (rjburns@spectranet.ca) says:
I have this album. I am willing to sell to best offerer. I have just about all the albums listed on this site. My contact information is included. It's the way I do business: Ron Burns 550 CHILDS DR MILTON,ONTARIO,CANADA L9T 3P3 1-(905)-876-3245 (08-06-2001)

Anthony Young (mopar@quik.com) says:
I have tears running down my face as I write this. How did the recording engineer keep a straight face? I'll bet Bob Newhart was the producer. If I ever need a laugh, I will come back to listen to Mrs. Miller. (08-06-2001)

Jason Haynes (neuman@cs.wcu.edu) says:
If you think these 2 tracks are awful, try searching for her version of "The Girl From Ipanema"...such horrible wailing...yet for some reason I still occasionally listen to it... (07-28-2001)

Ab Sug says:
Wahhhhhhhhh! I love it! (07-27-2001)

Groganking says:
This friggin rocks !
It's like having your favorite hits sung by an over the hill german bordello madam !
and the whistling ! (07-25-2001)

Graelkan says:
This rocks.. I really hope this wonderful woman of talent went to her grave never knowing she would be humiliated like this some 30 years later. Rot in Peace, Mrs Miller (07-25-2001)

Burt (b.whistler@att.net) says:
I am listening to my greatest hits now. And it's just like I'm hearing it for the first time!

We miss you Mrs. Miller!! (07-22-2001)

Kali Alibi (kaliisc@hotmail.com) says:
Unlike Mr. Iscariot, I can no longer go on. Kill me. kill me *now*...But wait! she can whistle!!!! There is hope!!! (07-20-2001)

Johnny Iscariot (artcrime@ihateclowns.com) says:
I never knew such beauty existed in the world. Thank you. I have the strength to carry on. (07-20-2001)

Larry Hochman (ilovetowork@home.com) says:
Rest In Peace, Mrs. Miller (somewhere else) (07-19-2001)

The Great Gazoo (gazoo@gateway.net) says:
I love how this page offers the helpful advice beneath the album cover image: "click picture to magnify." Is that necessary? (07-11-2001)

NekkeN says:
I used to like vibratos. (07-10-2001)

Mr. Miller says:
Hey, it could have been worse. She could have displayed the same incredible utter lack of talent at, say, brain surgery. She makes William Shatner look like an actor. (Ok, that's an exaggeration.) (07-10-2001)

dude says:
MORE MORE MORE (07-10-2001)

Eric (tveye70@aol.com) says:
That voice sounds so horribly familiar. I can't place it, though. Mercifully. Let's hope Mrs. Miller is about to plunge that microphone into her skull cavity. (07-01-2001)

Duckman (tfhntrd@hotmail.com) says:
If you think that's bad enough, "Downtown" is on the Dr Demento 30th Anniversary cd. So it's preserved for many other generations to hear! YYYYAAAAAAAYYYYY! (06-22-2001)

The Lone Beatnik (cujoe76@yahoo.com) says:
She looks like shit, she sings like shit-- destined to become a hit. Eat your heart out Tiny Tim. This record is disturbing.... especially to hear her sing "But when I get you alone you know I feel allright." Oh yeah, another screw up she sang before the instrumental "But when I get onto you you know I feel alright." I doubt she ever heard any of the songs she sang. My god! (06-14-2001)






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