presents...

Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits

Oh, the humanity!

I've spent a lot of time contemplating the mystery of Mrs. Elva Miller from Claremont, California. I have to conclude that her recording career is one of the cruelest practical jokes ever devised by the record industry.

For the most part, the flubs on Frank's Vinyl Museum are the result of serious artists and serious record producers badly missing the mark. Mrs. Miller's album is definitely over the top, but I get the very sinister feeling from the liner notes that while Miller herself may have been completely serious about what she was doing, whoever coaxed her to make this album was laughing on the inside, and probably egging her on to be even more extreme. The sarcasm is very subtle, just enough to give the wink to record collectors like us while keeping poor Mrs. Miller in the dark. References to her "impeccible diction" and "scintillating delivery" abound, as well as the accolade "one of the most interesting voices extant... one that brings to mind the tonal qualities of a Florence Foster Jenkins or a Mrs. B. J. Fangman". Jane Morgan's Fresh Flavor LP, featured elsewhere on this site, contains similar sentiments, but at least she can lay claim to some prior recording history.

I almost feel bad for exploiting Mrs. Miller this way, but once you listen to her songs, you'll know why her fans can't resist her. Enjoy!

Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits
(click picture to magnify)
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Songs:

Downtown (MP3) Brace yourself for the best rendition of 'Downtown' ever!
A Hard Day's Night (MP3) Beatle butchering at its very best.

See Also: Fresh Flavor

Your Comments:

NUTCRACKER says:
PEANUT HEAD SHUT THE FUCK UP ! YOUR NOT FUNNY SO PLEASE GET ON WITH YOUR PATHETIC LIFE! STICK JIMMY OSMONTE IN YOUR BUM ALONG WITH YOUR GERBIL!! (09-06-2004)

Mary Klaehn says:
All I have to say is "Yowzaaaaaaaaa" Fart (09-03-2004)

Bobby Dean (bobbyd@vietnam.gov) says:
I love you, Mrs. Miller. I have a Mrs. Miller fetish. I cannot cum at ALL unless I can hear some of your soul-piercing octaves of beauty.

Do you have any children yet? What would you say to having some with me?

Staplers are lovely sex toys to use while listening to your tunes of love. :-* (09-02-2004)

Peter (Peterhrlck@aol.com) says:
I think all the songs on this web site are cool and i am building an radio stion for my web site so please do send some sonds to us (08-27-2004)

NOT DAD says:
HAILEY STINKS!! (08-24-2004)

Raven Slaughter says:
THIS LP KICKS ASS!
i LOVE IT!
ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HTTP://WWW.RAVENSLAUGHTER.COM (08-24-2004)

BYE says:
I SAY GOODBYE & YOU SAY HELLO! (08-21-2004)

HI says:
HELLO (08-21-2004)

Captain Krunch says:
thought this was Miss Piggy's greatest hits.
Chim Chimeree? The Mary Poppins tune? What
the? That one should be on here. Mrs Miller
rocks your sack off! (08-21-2004)

PEE WEE HERMAN says:
HUH! HUH! (08-19-2004)

HOWARD STERN says:
SHE SINGS LIKE SHE HAS MY BALLS IN HER MOUTH!!! (08-19-2004)

HOWARD STERN says:
SHE SINGS LIKE SHE HAS MY BALLS IN HER MOUTH!!! (08-19-2004)

Fan from the past (wld302@verizon.net) says:
can anyone tell me where I can get a CD of her Greatest Hits? (08-19-2004)

NUTCRACKER says:
THE MESSAGE BELOW IS FOR DICK HEAD...I MEAN PENIS HEAD A.K.A PEANUT HEAD!! (08-17-2004)

NUTCRACKER says:
YOU ARE ENTERTAINING ONLY TO YOURSELF!! DON`T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!!!! (08-17-2004)

B.GOGUEN. (HAILBRAINIAC@hotmail.com) says:
HER MUSIC HAS HAUNTED ME SINCE CHILDHOOD.ALWAYS REMINDING ME OF SIMPLER MORE CAREFREE TIMES.THE WILLIAM HUNG OF THE 60S WITH 100 TIMES THE PAZAZZ!WHERE CAN I GET A C.D? NO,SERIOUSLY! (08-14-2004)

wild bill says:
Well...she has a better voice than Madonna... (08-02-2004)

Ron Burns (rjburns@spectranet.ca) says:
Ken Rhea sucked my wanky (07-24-2004)

MrsMillersWorld.com (elva@mrsmillersworld.com) says:
Visit the offical website! (07-05-2004)

Peanut Head says:
Holy shit dere Jan!! I can help yoo!!! Imagine how many smokes, liquor an JAMMY OSMENIT Cds we can buy wid all dat 12 millione doolers!!!

Lissen Jan....cum over ta my houze RIGHT NOW!!! I get da boombox wid da JAMMY OSMINDTZ CDs, liqur and smokes and we git nekkid an roll around in all dat dough!!!

Here is my address:

Mr. P. Nut Head
12 Million Dollar JananmegonnamakelotsmoremoneyfromdaJammyOSmindtcdsales Road
Lagos, Niberium
1212121212

C'mon over NOW Jan....I is gettin' a boner just...what? uh-oh, it's my mommy...bye... (06-30-2004)






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